A theme that has come up lately is working through and overcoming negative messaging from childhood. Often, our well-meaning parents and others tell us that we can’t do something or shouldn’t do something because we will not make enough money, because we are not smart enough or good enough etc. The reason our loved ones tell us these things is fear based due to their own misalignment with Source and they project these fears and concerns onto us. It has nothing to do with us!
As children, we tend to internalise what our loved ones tell us as a means to cope with these fear based remarks. It’s a useful coping mechanism and it serves us well as children when we are dependant on our parents and other adults for survival. What happens when we grow into adulthood, when former means of coping no longer serves us?
By this time, pipes have been laid. We have been functioning under the old framework our whole lives and it’s what we have become accustomed to. Then, we begin to feel like something is wrong. We still hear these messages but something about it does not resonate. We become aware that there is a disconnect between what others have been telling us and that which we know to be true about ourselves. Awareness kicks in! Often, this awareness starts out as simply an uneasy feeling but not knowing why. The more we explore these feelings, we realise that the messages we have been hearing are not true. We begin knowing our truth.
It’s often an unbelievable realisation and takes time to process. It’s an aha moment that often results in feelings of loss and betrayal. If this is true for you, it is important to allow yourself time to mourn, to feel the grief and pain and to come into the knowingness of who you really are. By allowing these emotions to surface, it’s easier to come to a place of acceptance and eventually appreciation.
The extent to which we feel the contrasting experience of who we really are (old negative messaging) is the degree to which we can have genuine appreciate of its opposite (the new knowing). All of these life experiences are a gift. It is how expansion happens.
According to Newton, centrifugal force is an inertial force directed away from the axis of rotation that appears to act on all objects when viewed in a rotating reference frame. Lately it feels like I have been going through some sort of centrifugal force where my inner-self or higher-self is the axis and and the rest of me is being spun out so that all the toxic stuff can leave. It’s like I’m on the spin-cycle in a washing machine and Kali Ma is assisting in getting rid of that which no longer serves me. For that, and so much more, I am eternally grateful.
The process has led to quietening, focusing, being alone, only taking care of priorities, only surrounding myself with supportive people, staying committed to yoga and meditation and eating a healthy diet. This morning, right after my yoga practice and during mediation, I had a pretty huge aha moment. I was in the middle of processing this deep and personal realisation when I looked up and saw a Red-tailed Hawk fly right in front of me and land in a tree next to the back deck. I had asked for validation and that’s exactly what I got.
Red-tailed Hawks are symbolic of kundalini energy, psychic vision, clarity and zoning in on intuition. They are also often attacked by smaller birds, symbolic of attacks from others who don’t understand one’s path or process. This is interesting and fitting as I am in the process of releasing this very thing. I am in the process of releasing the attachment I have had to approval from others with whom I have been close. It’s been daunting and scary but moving through it, facing it, and coming out on the other side is freeing. I feel like I am taking flight, just like the hawk.