Years ago, at a time when things were particularly tough and when I intentionally began asking more questions about spirituality, I would spend many hours sitting beside the river questioning, crying, contemplating, cursing, and craving; craving answers, results, happiness, joy and love. I would ask questions like, ‘what is it that will actually make me feel happy and fulfilled? What is my life’s purpose? What do I need to do to be at peace with life?’ The more I simply sat there and cried and cried, the less I knew and the more I gave up. It was perfect!
Life went on, I took jobs that paid the bills, and jobs I believed were aligned with my life’s purpose. After I while, I was offered what I thought was my dream job. I worked at the place for over a year. It was an uplifting experience, management was great, my coworkers were awesome, I was earning a good living, making a difference in people’s lives, handling a high level of responsibility, BUT still, I was not completely fulfilled. Back to the river I went.
Over and over, I would think about Lao Tzu’s quote (and still do), ‘Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them – that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.‘ I watched the water flow, moving past rocks and debris effortlessly, naturally moving slower or faster, not concerned with external obstacles. I realised that I needed to shift gears and try to do the same thing with my life.
I learned to move past obstacles with more ease and grace, trusting in my inner-wisdom, knowing that my true-self – my divine-self – would not lead me astray, that everything was unfolding perfectly, and to accept these challenges and growth opportunities as a means to becoming closer with the divine. I needed to become more patient during slow times and run with fast times, continuing to trust the process every step of the way. The moment I opened to these truths, I shifted and my experience shifted. I opened enough to pack up my life and do the shake up, to begin my Journey of Love .
The river was an integral part of the journey and at every opportunity offered, I would find one to sit beside. Even when driving over a river, I would take a moment to honour her wisdom and strength, ease and grace. I found strength in her. As soon as I returned home, I went to the same river I sat beside all those years ago, closed my eyes, teared up and thanked her! Aho Pacha Mama.